Hey Finn
by quiet-little-wallflower
Summary: A collection of letters Annie writes to Finnick following his death,telling him about how life is without him, and what she and those around her have been doing since.
1. Chapter 1

Hey Finn,

It's been a week since they told me that you weren't coming back, that you're gone forever. I know it won't surprise you to know that I'm still refusing to believe it. How can you be dead when it feels like my world hasn't even changed at all? I can still feel you, it's like there is a thousand tiny strings knotting me to you, and not one of them feels as though its slackened or been cut. They are all still taught, still holding fast. If I can still feel you, even though I can't see or hear you, how can you be truly dead Finn? I just don't understand.

They keep telling me to come out and socialize, to not spend all my time hulled up in the room we shared in thirteen. Its impossible for me to leave the room just yet though. Everywhere else in this strange place only has the slightest memories of you, perhaps a sun tanned hand gripping tight to a railing on the stairway, a coy smile across from me at the breakfast table. But here in this room you're everywhere. The scent of your hair, all soap and musk is still clinging to your pillow, lulling me to sleep when the night's darkness seems as though it's going to close in around me. Some of the clothes the people in this place assigned for you to wear are still tucked away in the wardrobe, and a piece of rope sits atop the dresser, twisted and frayed at the ends, a lumpy ball of knots. Sometimes If I listen hard enough I could almost swear I can hear you laughing.

You had such a beautiful laugh Finn, if it's even truly possible when you laughed, you were even more handsome. The soft laugh lines formed around your mouth, your eyes crinkling slightly, sea green jewels hiding in amongst bronze lashes. I used to stare at that face for hours on end and wonder why you, who could have had and did have any woman in Panem chose me, the bedraggled mad victor back home who no one ever took seriously. I could never work out why that was, but all I knew was that you did love me, and that you'd never stop. You promised me that.

I'll never stop loving you either Finn. I don't care what anyone says. Annie Odair keeps her promises, just like you do. Remember when you told me you'd never leave me? After I sat crying in a hospital gown after they dragged me out of that awful twisting water, full of dirt, leaves and the bodies of my fellow tributes? You pressed your lips against my head, cradled me against your chest and you promised you'd never leave me, that you'd never let me go. So far you've always kept that promise. I refuse to believe a little thing like death would get in the way of that. It doesn't.

I still see Jarl, with his eyes bright and confused as Adonis's sword swept through his throat like it was no more than butter, and in turn Adonis clawing desperately at branches before being sucked deep underneath the foaming mass of water that helped win me my games. I see them every night in my dreams. I see them when I blink, their dying moments projecting from my memories onto my eyelids. Death hasn't allowed for them to leave me, and I know you in turn will join them now, haunting me from that one part of me that failed me, my mind. I can't help but admit I find some kind of solace in that. Perhaps there are some perks to being stark raving mad after all.

I'm running out of paper to write this on, you know how stringent and stingy Thirteen is with their supplies, so I suppose I'll have to bid you farewell my love. When I next write you I'll probably be back home in four, so I'll have all the paper I want.

I miss you Like Crazy,

Your Annie xx

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**A.N: Just to clear up some questions I suppose**

**Jarl is the name I've bestowed upon Annie's poor district partner from her games, while Adonis is the name of the district 1 tribute from her games.**

**I'll try to update this regularly, unlike my other fics which I kind of have as occasional outlets, this for the time being will be pretty constant (A week or so between updates at the most)**

**Also reviews keep my little writing heart going!**


	2. Chapter 2

Hey Finn,

It's been a rather eventful week. Katniss killed President Coin the other day. Shot her right through the heart in front of an entire crowd of people gathered to watch her execute Snow. As disgusting as it is to say, it was quite the show. The crowd went absolutely feral and ended up trampling Snow to death. I bet you're pleased to hear that, aren't you Finn. I can almost imagine the grin you'd be wearing right now; the dimples in your cheeks, the subtle laugh lines, the creases around those ocean eyes.

Don't mind that crinkled part of the paper, and the smudgy looking ink on the last few words. True to form I started crying. It's just so hard to see you so clearly in my head, and not at all in reality. I just want you here with me, where you should be. It's not fair.

I'm sorry, I'll get on with the letter, I'm wrecking the paper with all this salt water.

Since returning to thirteen, what I'm told will be a very short stay; everything has been thrown into utter chaos following Coin's Death. No one knows what to do, or where to even start. I suppose it's the first time they've been left without a leader, left without the order and stability they've always known and it's taken them completely by surprise. They are all so busy trying to sort it all out that nobody has the time to check up on me, to make sure I'm socializing and not falling into a pit of despair. It's been wonderful really, for the first time since before I went mad I've been left to my own devices.

The kitchen ladies haven't even noticed that the sugar cube supply is dwindling at a very rapid rate.

I swear I'm not hoarding Finn, scouts honour. I only ever take a handful and I only pilfer them three or maybe four times a day. Ok you've got me, it's at least five times a day, and I'm putting a lot of stress on the word least. But it's just so entertaining, you have no idea how little there is to do in this dreary bunker of a district. Anyway let's face it, stealing the sugar cubes also reminds me of you and right now if anything can bring those sea green eyes back to me in the slightest I'll gravitate towards it.

Do you remember the 71st Hunger Games? The year they actually sent me along to be a mentor before realizing that the rumours were true and that I was a little bit on the mental side? We stole almost every sugar cube the Capitol had left out for the chariot horses, and I can't remember ever having energy like that again in my life. I was bouncing off the walls practically, and you, well you were just hilarious. Our poor tributes, they must have been so worried. I would have been if my mentors had laughed the whole way through my pep talk.

I always did love your pep talks though, so maybe I wouldn't.

The Capitol didn't take you away from me that night. That night you crawled into bed with me, not smelling of wine and cheap perfume, without lipstick of all shades and every colour staining the collar of your shirt. No, that night they hadn't needed you and for once I had you all to myself, and we laughed and joked until the early hours of the morning.

That was the first time you ever told me you loved me.

Remember that? I know you do, though you'd feign absolute ignorance, you nasty tease. You had your forehead pressed to mine, eyes closed, and you'd whispered it so quietly I almost didn't hear you. You'd laughed when my reply came back all squeaky like a mouse, pressed your lips to my cheek and told me I was perfectly adorable.

It's kind of like that night now. I eat those sugar cubes like we did, shoving as many in my mouth at one time as possible, creating mini pyramids out of the ones I haven't yet had a chance to eat. Crawl into bed with my feet hanging over the edges. But it's not the same, because see you're not struggling to keep your mouth, full of sugar, closed beside me, you're not knocking the pyramids over and looking so satisfied with yourself, you're not there laughing along with me until the early hours of the morning. I whisper "I love you" to the ceiling and get no reply, over and over again. A thousand I love yous before I fall asleep.

When I'm lucky, I get to dream of you saying it back, but mostly I just dream of drowning in eternal darkness, and you screaming my name.

I'm such a mentally upbeat person.

I know you must be so worried about me Finn, you'd be telling me to not slip into the pit of despair that can be my nostalgia, pining for a certain kind of happiness long lost to me. But I can't help it and frankly I don't want to so you'll have to just deal with it, wherever you are.

I'm starting to leave all those tear stains on the paper again, so I'll stop writing before everything is completely blurred out and smudgy.

Night Finn,

Love Annie, xx

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**AN:** sugar cubes, a reference had to be made. dear god yes.

hated writing about Coin (my god so much was deleted) but I kinda felt like it needed to be included. This chapter was hell. I don't even know why, but I re-wrote it so many times.

anyhow, thanks for taking the time to read this :)

(which I know you did, because if you hadn't you wouldn't be reading this of course)


	3. Chapter 3

Hey Finn,

I'm sorry I haven't written you earlier, I've just been so sick all week with some kind of stomach bug. Perhaps the air back in district four doesn't agree with me now you're gone.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't be such a downer straight away, I know you hate it when I'm so down about things. But honestly there is nothing good about being sick, so what can you expect?

Our house is exactly the same as the day the Capitol came to take me away. I haven't cleaned anything up because I've had my head in a bucket all week, and of course Johanna has a thousand and one better things to do.

Apparently showering isn't one of the thousand and one.

Gosh, how silly of me! I bet you're terribly confused right now, aren't you Finn? I bet you're asking yourself "But why is she talking about Johanna? Isn't she back home? Maybe my Annie is a little bit crazier than the last time she wrote." Well let me clear that up for you. Johanna is living with me, back home in 4. At least for the time being anyway.

It's sort of a rehabilitation kind of thing for her. She's "facing her fears" apparently. Doctor Aurelius's orders. She thinks he's stark raving mad and that in the end this will all just prove pointless. I don't think he's too bad, though that might just be because he leaves me alone most of the time when he comes for our "check ups."I suppose I'm considered a bit of a lost cause. I kind of miss having you around all the time reminding me that that's not the case.

I actually just miss having you around in general, but that's no big surprise.

Anyway, back on topic. Johanna sleeps in the guest room and she hardly ever leaves it, unless I'm fairing a little bit worse for wear. You've got to hand it to her, despite her generally self focused and uncaring demeanour, she really can be kind when someone's throwing up their breakfast and eventually their stomach lining in the early hours of the morning. She hasn't even made that many nasty jokes about it. I'm impressed.

She misses you too Finn, more than she'd dare let on. I catch her sometimes I catch her staring at the pictures of you in the hall way. If I didn't know better, I'd swear her eyes almost look as watery as mine do.

She wakes up screaming in the middle of the night too, just like me, just like you.

But enough about Joh, I'm sure she'd slap me hard across the head if she knew I was telling you that.

I suppose you'd like to know how our district is fairing these days. Honestly, there hasn't been too much damage. We faired a lot better than some of the other districts, that's for sure. Of course, that's not to say people aren't suffering, but in all honesty the whole of Panem is suffering, one way or another, for whatever reason. Loss of their Capitol comforts, loss of a home, a brother, a mother, a lover.

A lover. I can relate to that.

I don't like that Mags's house is empty. It doesn't feel right to look up at her lounge window and see her huddled in that old chair tying fishing nets. The chair is still there, but it's just not the same Finn.

That ridiculous wind chime you made her two summer's ago is still hanging on her veranda, and sometimes late at night when I'm lying in our bed and everything is quiet I can hear it jangling through the window. It's sort of comforting Finn, it lulls me to sleep.

Sleep is a rather nice escape for me lately.

I'm sorry I haven't written much to you today, but I'm so tired and sick, I barely had enough energy to crawl across the bedroom and open that funny little draw of yours where you kept your pens and paper. I felt so ridiculous doing it, all hands and knees looking like a cat. Thank god Johanna was already asleep and didn't see me doing it or I'd never live it down. Being mad is one thing, being mad and crawling around your house like a cat is another. But really, I get so woozy when I stand up, so it was the best option at the time, really.

Honest Finn, and stop that. I know you're laughing at me, wherever you are.. It's really not even funny.

No, the mental image isn't even funny either.

It's funny how even when you're dead I still know you exactly how you'd react. I can keep up your side of the conversation easily. I'd rather I didn't have to though.

I can barely keep my eyelids open any longer Finn. I really don't want to go, because I know the moment my pen leaves the paper and I set it down on the table I'll have cut one of the knots that ties me to you all over again. Each time that pen hits the paper it ties itself back up, but in between so much doesn't feel right. Nothing really feels right without you.

Good night Finn, love you.

Annie xx

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**AN: **ehehehe, Annie is "sick"

Silly Annie, honestly.


	4. Chapter 4

Hey Finn,

I have news that is happy and sad, all at once. I don't even know how to say it. My heart is beating so hard and fast, I can hardly think over all the noise it's making.

Do you remember that stomach bug I told you about in my last letter? The one that's had me bed ridden for over a week? Well, it turns out it wasn't a stomach bug.

I'm pregnant Finn.

Honestly I should have worked it out sooner, I'm more than three weeks late. At first I didn't even realize, and when I did I just put it down to stress. I probably would have kept blaming that if it wasn't for Johanna suddenly putting two and two together.

She's a switched on woman, I'd have probably gotten to full term and passed the huge bulbous belly and all the other pregnancy symptoms that are soon to come as stress related issues as well if it wasn't for her. I know you think I'm joking right now, but really Finn, life is hard without you. It's a real possibility.

It's a weird feeling to know another's life is coming into fruition inside of me. It's even weirder that a part of that person is a part of you. A part of a person who's heart no longer beats on this earth like it's does, whose blood flows through its veins even though your own has stopped pumping through your body. It doesn't really seem fair at all Finn. You should be here to enjoy it just as much as I will.

But life's not fair is it?

It doesn't even look like a baby yet, during the ultrasound the nurse said it's about the size of a jelly bean at the moment, which made me laugh because I've digested so much sugar in the last few weeks it wouldn't surprise me if the poor child was ninety percent glucose.

You really would be a sugar daddy if that was true Finn. I know I know, terrible joke on my part as always. You know I just can't resist an awful joke when it presents itself like that. It's one of the reasons you love me so much, I recall; my uncanny ability to always make terrible jokes.

I've given it the nickname sugarcube for the moment because of this, I'm sure you approve.

Are you excited Finn? I bet you are, I mean, I bet you would be if you were still here of course. I wish you were. When they performed the ultrasound and I heard little sugarcube's heart beating for the first time I wanted so badly to be able to turn my head to the side and see you crying happy tears with me, to feel your hand squeezing mine. I'm not mad for wanting that am I? That seems a reasonable wish I think. Not one that could ever be true in this universe, but maybe somewhere in another I could do just that. Did do such that. Maybe in another universe there is another Finnick who didn't die, sitting in a hospital clutching another Annie's hand and marvelling at the smudgy image of their unborn child.

What a lovely and altogether comforting thought that is.

Instead of you I had Johanna to look over at. I will always be grateful for her kind smile and congratulations but it just can't ever compare to what I really wanted. I suppose I should just be grateful that I still have a living piece of you at all.

That of course, brings me to a rather unpleasant topic, which I'm sure will anger you greatly. She has a habit of ruffling your feathers after all. Ten points for guessing who Finn.

It was my wretched mother of course. I bet you've noted her absence wherever you are and have come to the conclusion that she was rotting away in the darkest pits of hell but no, she's still very much alive. I know how very disappointed that has surely made you, and I must say after her behaviour today I'm on the same page.

I invited her over to tell her the news, because I figured that's what you're supposed to do when you're pregnant right? Tell your family members, announce to the whole world that you are capable of and currently creating life? Well the woman practically spat her coffee back into her cup and then said so matter of factually "Well then Annie dear, I assume you'll be getting it aborted as soon as possible."

Joh's mouth practically hit the floor and I'm sure if I hadn't answered back so quickly she would have ripped mother to shreds.

I quietly told her that no, I would be keeping the baby and then she said so coldly, so callous, oh Finn it makes my heart break just writing the words.

She said "A head case such as yourself could never bring up a child properly. I'm sure it would be taken off of you the very second it was born anyway, and rightly so. You're just too mental for a child Annie. You'd be doing the poor thing a favour."

I was going to say something else Finn, really I was but I just can't remember what it was now, because before I could even open my mouth to say anything Joh had leaped out of her chair, grabbed hold of my mother and dragged her out of the house. The things that came out of Joh's mouth Finn, Oh how you would have laughed. I would have laughed too if my heart didn't feel like it was breaking into a thousand pieces and clouding over with self doubt.

Do you think I'm too nutty to be a mother? Johanna assures me I'm not, but maybe my mother is right. I can't even remember to turn the iron off sometimes. Perhaps I'm just being stupid, and you always did say to never listen to my mother anyway. Last time I did that I ended up volunteering for the games, so it's probably safe to say she doesn't really know what's best for me.

Of course, volunteering for the games did bring you into my life, so I should at the very least thank her for that. The only good thing about that whole experience was finding you and despite all the pain the games brought me, I'd go through it all again just to have you here with me. I'd do anything for you Finnick Odair.

I guess that's why I'm taking the best advice you ever gave me; to not listen to that batty old woman. I'm keeping my little sugarcube for you, because it's the steadiest knot of string still connecting me to you, and I won't cut this one, no matter what anyone says. Doing that would be full blown crazy.

I'm not completely mad, not quite yet.

It pains me to do so, but I must stop writing again. I'll write again soon, I promise Finn. I miss you like crazy.

Your Annie, xx

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**AN:** I apologize for not updating this sooner, I've been sick with the flu all week and have basically spent the whole time in bed like a stuffed potato (my brothers words, not mine)

Well the pregnancy has finally been found out by our forever 'off with the fairies' Annie Odair.

speaking of fairies, if you review this story after reading a dead fairy will be brought back to life, and they will put a sugar cube under your pillow for your troubles.

sounds like a sweet deal hey?


	5. Chapter 5

**AN:** I am so sorry about how late this is! a thousand times over! I've just been in a bit of a writing rut for a while. I'm also going to apologize for the shortness of this chapter. It's sort of just a filler in between. So very Sorry!

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Hey Finn,

I want you to picture those puffer fish that used to wash up on the funny little beach by the docks. You know the ones, they've got big bulbous eyes and spines all over their pudgy potato shaped body. Kind of cute in an awfully ugly sort of way. Now think of the one Merry Castev's found that day that was blown up like a balloon. Remember how grotesque and freaky it looked?

Yeah, that's pretty much what pregnant Annie Odair looks like.

Don't you dare even think about whispering to me that I look adorable, sweet, and unbelievably attractive. Even though you're dead I know that's exactly what you'd be wanting to say but Finn this time you are very VERY wrong. All I have to do is catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I burst into tears. Johanna is getting very worried, especially because I'm only four months along now. She keeps telling me to stop being ridiculous, that I don't look any different at all and that the only difference is that I look like I've got a small loaf of bread stuffed up my sweater all the time.

She does this really great impression of me waddling around like a penguin that's really helping with my self esteem at the moment as well. I can't work out whether I'm actually supposed to find the joke funny or if it is supposed to make me feel even more upset about my changing physique; with Johanna you can never be sure.

Sometimes I start to wonder why she doesn't just move into Mags or Laurel's houses, but I'd never say anything about it to her. Truth is beside the occasional taunts or jeers at my strange ways I actually am beginning to really enjoy her company. It's nice to have someone there who snickers along with me at the ridiculous new sitcom they are producing in district 2. Twice a day we take a walk down to the beach for her hydrophobia therapy and she really is making excellent progress. Some days I can actually get her to stand where the waves meet with the sand and let them lap over her feet for a few short seconds. It doesn't seem much but the doctor's have said it's fantastic progress considering what she's been through.

She's doing so much better than me. I had to be sponge bathed for over a year after the games, remember? Johanna is actually having the odd shallow bath, which is great. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous of how fast she's recovering. It's been how many years since my games? Six? Nearly seven, and I still can't bring myself to go for a swim in the ocean.

I've progressed a little bit more since we were last home together, I can go waist deep. Sometimes at sunrise I stand in amongst all that salty water like I used to when you'd go for your morning swim. There's a moment every time where I think I see you bobbing up for air or your arms slicing through the water and my heart skips a beat, but it's never you. Sometimes it's a pod of seals or an gull rising up from the water with a fish in it's beak. It's never you though, and every time it breaks my heart just a little bit.

I've got to go now Finn, this pen has almost run out of ink. As soon as I have the time (or the energy) to leave the house again I'll write you another letter. Maybe by then I'll know our baby's gender...hmmm, how interesting that is don't you think?

Ha ha ha, I know you wouldn't want to know, don't think I could ever forget that. You were adamant that day we discussed it. The same day you told me you wanted three kids, two sons and a daughter, who you'd raise in a cottage by the sea. I vaguely recall you mentioning something about dressing them only in seaweed which really ruined the romanticism of it all.

Oh gosh, that pen really is on its last leg. Night Finn, I hope it's not cold wherever you are. I hate to think of you being cold.

Love you forever and perhaps a day more,

Your Annie xx


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm so sorry! this is so late! so so so so late!**

**I've got another story which is eating up a lot of time, so this poor story has had to take a bit of a backseat for a while.**

**Oh just a warning, this chapter perhaps has a bit of a mature theme going on at one point...I don't know if its any worse than any of the ones I've written in other stories, but I thought I should just mention it, because it's perhaps a little darker than the last few chapters content wise, if that makes sense?**

**anyway, enjoy!**

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Hey Finn,

I've decided not to find out the gender of the baby. The woman who has been overseeing my ultrasounds isn't exactly well trained in the field so she's not quite sure how to determine such a thing. She was willing to recommend me to a very good doctor in the Capitol who'd been working with the district hospitals while they all get up and running but I had to decline the offer. I know all too well she only offered me the option because she knows who I am, and whose child I'm carrying. If it was anyone else she probably would have just sent them on their merry way with only the knowledge that their child is healthy. I don't want any more special treatment than what I already have. Living in the Victor's Village while the rest of the district is slowly rebuilt seems one luxury too many as it is.

I've been trying to think of names for the baby for a while now, but I just can't decide on one that I like. This whole name game is bit too complicated for my liking. How do people do it Finn? How does anyone decide on what name to give their child, knowing that it'll be with them for the rest of their life? I just can't wrap my head around it all, it makes me uncomfortable. Too much pressure, too much responsibility. Maybe my mother was right after all, maybe I'm just not ready for this.

No, I will not be naming the child after your friend Dylan. You know I cannot stand that man. No wait, maybe its 'couldn't' stand that man. No one has seen him since the war finished. I feel bad now for writing that, for all I know the poor guy could be dead.

I've got an idea for a girl's name. I think you already know where I'm going with this, don't you Finn? I was thinking maybe Maggie would be nice if it's a girl, after Mags. I didn't want to use the same name exactly, I know Mags wouldn't have liked that very much, she probably would have found it a tad awkward, but I really don't think she'd mind me using the name Maggie. I think she'd like that a lot. I'm not sure though, what do you think?

I've thought of absolutely nothing for a boy just yet. It's driving me mad, which is funny, considering that I'm already borderline insane. Obviously I'm a lot better than I was back in the days right after I won the games, but I still have nutball moments. Just the other day I found a packet of golf balls in the storage cupboard while I was cleaning it out. I'm assuming they were a gift from an old Capitol client of yours, all four of them were a different colour, and the paint on them was almost metallic, sparkling.

I'm pretty sure I know which client it was.

While I was sitting there I gave each of them a name and I must have been repeating them out loud because suddenly I heard a voice behind me say "What are you doing Annie?" and low and behold there was Johanna, standing in the doorway, looking very confused. I just laughed at her and said "Oh, I'm talking to my clients, want to join the conversation?"

I didn't realize how mad it must have sounded until I was lying in bed late at night going over the day in my head. Perhaps I should have better explained it to her. I know you understand. Each of those colours reminded me of the four clients I had before I totally shut down.

The red one, that reminded me of the first one. I can't quite remember his name, it was something like Uri, Uni, Ubo? I'm just going to go with Uno. I don't even know what he looked like; I think I've repressed that memory entirely. What I do remember is how painful it felt and how little he cared about what he was doing to me, as well as sitting in the bottom of the Capitol shower after he'd left, watching droplets of blood swirl down the drain with the water. It's almost funny thinking about how I was so traumatized by that experience that I completely forgot my fear of water. Oh the Capitol, seems like it's a place that only knows how to traumatize.

The green one reminded me of Ophelia, the democrats daughter, and how absolutely awkward that whole experience was. Her sheets were green satin.

The yellow was Tymio Gabor, with the wrinkled skin and the yellow corneas. I think I spent the rest of the night after that experience vomiting. When you came back to the apartment to see how I was going I was so grateful that you held my hair for me and wiped away my tears.

The last, the blue one, could only have been Seneca. I feel kind of sorry for him, he really didn't get his money worth. I think I was the first tribute he'd ever decided to try out. "You've got such lovely eyes Miss Cresta, I don't know why you're hiding them." He'd said to me, a subtle suggestion for me to look at him instead of squeezing my eyes shut the whole time and trying to block it all out. When I opened them and looked at his I couldn't stop myself crying. The poor man had lovely eyes, really he did…..but they weren't yours. I didn't want to look into anyone's eyes like that unless they were yours.

It makes me sad that he's dead. He was really kind about all that. He let me go, and he never bothered me again. Not like Tymio did. Tymio still wanted me even after they had declared I was too mad and a danger to those around me to make those kind of trips to the Capitol anymore.

He's dead now though, so who even cares.

Wow, that was almost cold of me to say such a thing, but I don't care. He doesn't deserve any kind of remorseful feelings from the likes of me. For the first time in my life I actually don't feel bad about it, it's not festering away inside me, making me feel so down about the world. For the first time I think someone got what they deserved. He was shot by rebels during the last few days of the riots in the Capitol, if you were wondering.

Oh gosh Finn, I'm awfully sorry, I know you hate hearing about all that, much like how I hate hearing all about you're clients, the number of which is probably twenty times the amount I had to deal with in my short time of 'service'. I just felt like I had to justify why I was naming the golf balls. They stirred those memories up from the dark corner of my mind that I'd stored them away in, somewhere alongside the deaths I'd watched or brought about in the games. I explained it all to Johanna in the morning, not wanting her to think I was slipping back into the madness. She got it, but I think I might have made her feel a bit uncomfortable because we didn't talk for the rest of the day. She just went and sat on the beach for the rest of the afternoon.

She was fine the next day though, so I'm thinking I might have just dredged up Capitol memories for her as well. I feel kind of bad about that.

Well Finn, I've got to get some sleep now, being pregnant makes people really tired. Incredibly tired, and hungry actually, I'm constantly ransacking the cupboards and it irritates Johanna to no end. I really have to get some sleep though, because tomorrow Johanna and I are going to the Capitol to take part in some memorial service that the officials have been organizing. Apparently they want a few of the remaining victors there because we are the closest to thing to celebrity figures the District's actually respect and our presence will help 'mend the bridges' or something like that. They would have preferred for Katniss or Peeta to go, but what with all he drama over Coin's death and Peeta still being a bit on the unpredictable side Johanna and I were the next choice, which I find kind of hilarious because we are both far from sane. I'm sure Beetee and Enoboria are in a much better place mentally than either of us. Then again, I am carrying your child, I'm sure the whole nation is desperate to know how the pregnancy is going.

I'm rambling again Finn, I'm sorry, it's the tiredness, it makes me ramble more than usual. I better get some sleep before I collapse mid-sentence and ruin the letter by scribbling ink everywhere in the process.

Good night wherever you are,

Your Annie.

* * *

**ok, the golf balls thing, well it was just going to be a nod to one of my favorite stories on here, Rose Hunter's zany "Finnick Odair's Many Stalker's" but then I kind of let it go a bit dark and well, ta da! if you haven't read Rose's story yet I suggest you do, It's absolutely hilarious!**

**As for the whole Annie having clients thing, I kind of feel like I should explain this. I figure that she would have had a few in the beginning, because as Katniss says, she's a 'lovely if somewhat bedraggled girl'. I think that eventually she would have become too unstable emotionally for even the likes of President Snow to be able to justify selling off, but not before he got his money's worth.**

**I don't know, what do you guys think? I find all the possibilities with Miss Cresta so fascinating!**

**Oh oh oh I also got a Seneca Crane mention in this chapter yay for me!**

**Now for some sad news- This story is most definitely going to be taking a backseat for a while. That's not to say It's on hiatus or anything, it just means it could be a fair while between each update. I'm just really short on time at the moment, my apologies.**

**Well, that's about all I've got to say, so err, keeping with a theme I've got going with my other story,**

**If you review, **

**Peeta will give you a freshly baked virtual cake, frosted in the style of a rock.**

**Moss and all.**

**Who could ever resist such a thing?**


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